Back in the good and not so old days, I spent my days working in the advertising and fashion world, I saw plays, I listened to music in Central Park while picnicking by candlelight, went bar hopping and bed hopping, worked for peace, performed as a stand up comic, hopped into a few more beds and in general was a city girl who took advantage of life and some of those “I am just not that into you but i will sleep with you” men.Silly men, I was not into them either. Ah, can’t wait to forward this blog to my mother.
So where the hell am I going with this? Nowadays I work in my home office trying to build up my coaching business, writing a best seller(got to be positive), playing with my 5 cats (which generally means trying to get them off the keyboard and away from the screen), and stuff like that. For about 10- 12 hours a day and sometimes is happens 7 days a week. Where did I go?
At the end of the night I am beat and miss my old life. All of it. So what does this former wild child do? She watches Bravo and some of those absolutely dreadful reality shows. This funky east village girl is glued to these sucky shows like a small mouse is stuck to sticky glue pad. Both are wrong on so many levels.
The one that horrifies me beyond reason and logic is those housewives shows. You know what I am talking about? If not, then there is still time to get to NYC this summer with a crystal candelabra and a bottle of fine wine in hand and get thee to Central Park!
This season a blond bitch got another dumber blond so drunk at a party and the former blond’s son tried to bed her. Oh, you have got to be so proud of yourself! And this is while the later dumb blond’s rich boyfriend lied dying in the hospital. And you know how the former blond bitch was rewarded for such bad behavior? Her husband bought her a tennis bracelet for 35 grand. Remind me to run over my neighbor. There’s got to be a choker with my name on it. Diamond encrusted no doubt.
I wish I could say that I take out War and Peace to lull me to sleep. But I have to go back each week. I pray for major earthquakes to hit those houses in Orange County. I just don’t get why these women are allowed to breathe.
One has a son with a major, major drug problem so she has a wedding that made the stimulus program seem like chump change.
And their breasts! Nobody has breasts like that and most of them look so unappealing – like Stonehenge, but not that pretty.
The next generation is so damn scary. No ambition, no drive except for maybe 2 of them and one wanted to join the army so she could get away from her mother. I don’t blame her. I’ll drive her to Afghanistan myself!
Now the west coast is over and next week it is the east coast. This group makes my skin crawl. Most of them slept their way to a penthouse in the sky. And none of them seem to appreciate it – they feel so damn entitled. I feel they deserve to lose it all. And just because you marry someone with a title does not make you any better than any one else. How dare you? How bloody dare you? You ain’t all that sister!
I am appalled by my lack of common sense and even more appalled by the network’s lack of good taste.
If this is what the future generation is going to look like, then I should have frozen my eggs.
And I will do that right after I get back from Betty Ford. I hear they have a detox program for reality bites shows.
Greetings from Betty Ford. Wish I was there!
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